It is 4:00 AM and vehicles loaded with runners are steadily
filing into the dirt parking lot at Stinson Beach, CA before today’s Miwok 100k. There were 3 runners that I had planned to
greet this morning and wish them well on their runs. Coordinating social engagements at 4:00 AM before
a 100 kilometer race probably isn’t the smartest
preparatory plan, but I was looking forward to seeing these gentlemen: Matt
Geis, a fellow PCT thru-hiker circa 2002 that I hadn’t seen since we parted
ways at the top of Etna Summit 13 years ago; Peter Brewer, a local runner from
Southern Oregon that I had met at Headwaters Trail Runs last year; and Jason
Donnell, a fellow race director from the North State (check out his Chico
event, Rim to Rim http://rimtorimtrailrun.com/)
whom I had not met before. It turns out
I parked two cars away from Matt. We
found each other by the beams of our headlamps, shared nostalgia for the PCT
and how our lives have unfolded since that memorable summer, and then made our
way to the start area. Time was ticking
with about 20 minutes to the start.
While stowing my finish line gear inside the Stinson Beach Community
Center, I ran into Peter doing the same.
It was great to see Peter again and wish him well. With just a few minutes to start, I had to
find my spot amongst the hoard of runners lining up outside. I was pleasantly surprised to see Brian
Hitchcock standing next to me, and get a chance to greet before we got going. Before we knew it Tia gave the signal, and
some 300 head-lamped runners and I made our way toward the Dipsea Trail.
The race started with about ¼ mile of paved running before
hitting the trail. Seemed everyone was
sprinting, trying to avoid the bottleneck entering the trail to our first
ascent. Looking back I think I had
the same mindset – perhaps this push too early would set a tone that would dictate
my race the rest of the morning.
I fell into a steady climbing pace with Ron Gutierrez, to
the top of Cardiac. My headlamp’s beam
illuminated the coastal mist that surrounded me, making it difficult to see the
ground immediately in front of me. As I
neared the top of Cardiac I heard the sound of a bagpipe through the mist. It was a surreal ambiance as we passed by the
silhouetted piper. The course was
difficult to follow in the pre-dawn mist with few course markings on the
prairie bluffs. I nearly missed the
first turn after Cardiac when two runners came from behind and verified the
junction leading down to Muir Beach. On
the descent the sun was beginning to illuminate enough so I could power off my
headlamp. When I came around the next
turn I saw Chikara Omine just ahead and thought to myself, “oh no, I must be going too fast, I shouldn't
be anywhere near him!” I stopped, packed
my headlamp into my vest, and continued on, focusing my effort on slower running
down the grade.
At the base of the descent I trudged along through the
nettle and poison oak lined trails of the valley floor toward Muir Beach. There
is a slight out and back section heading into and out of the Muir Beach aid
station. On this out and back I was
reassured of my pace when I didn't see any of the lead runners.
Up the next climb I fell into a groove again with Ron and
Brian. It was nice to share some miles
with Brian and catch up. I learned that
he moved back to Alaska and has an ambitious race season ahead including Fat
Dog 120-mile!
We continued on this way, now with Jean Pommier, with what
felt like a comfortable pace. By mile 20,
we began another downhill this time towards Rodeo Beach, when my hip flexors
and hip joints started tightening and giving me problems. Up and down we continued back to Muir
Beach. My hips were only getting tighter
with each climb and descent along the route back to Muir Beach. At the base of the climb back up to Cardiac
my stomach issues set in and a slight feeling of nausea. I walked most of the return climb to Cardiac.
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| Masking struggle with a smile. Photo: Glenn Tachiyama. |
The aid station crew at Cardiac was really energetic, almost
too much for me at the time considering the state of mind my hips and stomach
problems had left me in. I really needed
a moment to stop, rest, and get a grip on my stomach, but the volunteers there
were incessantly telling me to eat this, drink that, get some calories in
now! I was overwhelmed by all the
coaching. I know their advice was sound
and their intentions were to help and support me, but it just wasn’t working
for me. The thoughts I had of dropping as
I approached Cardiac Aid Station were quickly silenced as I knew this crew
would not allow it. I ate a couple
cubes of watermelon, grabbed a PB & J square for the trail, and set myself
on my way.
I left Cardiac with contradictorily assuring myself that focusing
on one section of the remaining race at a time I could get to the finish and
doubting my ability and drive to carry on.
I walked a lot of this single track out to Bolinas Ridge Aid. I felt like crap, and was only getting worse
at this point. I wasn’t having fun
anymore as self-doubt started to get the upper hand. My inner critic can be a powerful force. It was survival running at this point and I
just wanted to get to the next aid station.
At Bolinas Aid Station (mile 42) my stomach was the worst it
would be all day. I sat down for about
20 minutes and watched runner after runner come in looking strong, alive, and
happy. One after another, runners came into
and left the aid station, and I quickly fell further and further behind. An aid station volunteer at Bolinas was incredibly
helpful to me. I must have looked quite distressed
to her as she checked in with me, gave me good advice, but also allowed me some
space to gather myself. I eventually ingested
some hummus wraps, and cola. This small
amount of calorie would fuel me for the next 7 miles to Randall Aid
station. The Miwok course along Bolinas
Ridge is approximately 22 miles of out and back running, Randall Aid Station is
the turnaround point. Leaving Bolinas Aid Station I felt that if I
could just get to Randall it would be a huge psychological hurdle, and I would
only have 12 miles of direct running back to Stinson Beach.
Along Bolinas Ridge I met up with a bloke named David Daley from
Southern CA. We talked about San Diego
100 as we ran a few miles together. Apparently
David plans to pace a friend at SD. I
told David I am looking for a pacer for SD, and he said he would see if he
knows anyone – but the whole time, in the state I was in during Miwok, I was
thinking to myself there is no way am I going to be fit to run SD in a
month. We arrived at Randall Aid Station
together. It was quite a busy scene at Randall. Many runners pick up their pacer here for the
last 13 miles back to Stinson Beach, including David. He was off, and that would be the last I
would see him this day. I ate a few more
hummus wraps at Randall, the only thing going into my stomach at this point,
and carried a couple with me as I embarked on my 7 mile return to Bolinas Aid
Station. Reaching the turnaround at
Randall was exactly the mental boost I expected and needed. My body still didn’t feel much like running,
but the critic that was nagging me to drop finally gave up.
Back at Bolinas the same aid worker that had helped me earlier
recognized I was back and cheered me in.
This was a big emotional uplift.
I wish I would have asked her name, but I hope she reads this and knows how
grateful I am for her advice and encouragement.
She had a big positive effect on my race’s outcome.
I managed some stiff running back to the Matt Davis
trail. The decent down to Stinson Beach
was brutal, but I knew this day was about over and the finish near. I crossed the line at 11:27. This was not the race I had hoped for or
expected coming into it, but I was pleased to have overcome some mental and
physical lows ad now be finished. My
girlfriend, Jennifer, was there to greet me.
It was nice to relax and enjoy the scene with her at the finish line.
Reflecting on my 2015 Miwok 100k, I’m left feeling a sense
of accomplishment from persevering and pushing on. I’m not one to argue that I need to finish races
at any cost, and I respect a runner that can make a wise decision to drop from
a race to avoid an injury that may have lasting effects. My day was not about long-term physical
injury in my judgement. I needed to push
through some mental blocks that have been keeping me down. I have felt a lack of drive and motivation
recently, though I felt my training had been good leading up to Miwok. I ran a solid 50k at Tehama Wildflowers fun
run two weeks earlier and felt great the entire day. Miwok was a day of physical mysteries as well. I don’t know why my hips started tightening
so early in the race, or why my stomach has given me issues during my last
three races over 50 miles. In the past,
my stomach has been a saving grace, seemingly unaffected during long distance
runs.
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| Keepin' on. Photo Glenn Tachiyama |
San Diego 100 looms in the horizon. Miwok has given me much to reflect on. Running provides me with a unique opportunity
to dig deep through personal challenge and struggle, and offers an explorer’s perspective
searching to discover who I am when I am stripped bare, uncomfortable, and full
of doubt. I will be at Lake Cuyamaca for
the start of San Diego 100 in 3 weeks, not certain how the race will turn out
on paper, but sure of the fact that I will be challenged again and discover
more about who I am.
Thank you Team Sunsweet-SportHill Ultrarunning for standing
by me though my highs and lows, Tia and all the volunteers at Miwok for support
all the runners during an incredible event, and my friends and family who are always
there to cheer me on.
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